A Tribute To A Good Woman...

After a month's fight, we lost my mother-in-law. But not without her holding on and recognizing all of us coming to visit her at the hospital after a massive stroke which took her body away from her. She had damage to her brain stem and the NIH Stroke Team told her sons that there wasn't much hope for change. That news came the day after they found her in her kitchen on her floor. She was 87 (excuse me really 27 because she always said she was 25 until her oldest grandson turned 25 then she advanced 2 more years) and going strong. She really didn't have any health problems that weren't under control -- or so we all thought. But with the stroke, since she was allergic to most medications she had to try and recuperate totally on her own -- without the help of the main medicine they immediately give other stroke victims which helps them come back faster. It might cause more harm than good with Cecilia. So from the night they found her (the 22nd of December) until most of the day on Christmas, she slept in her coma. Until around 3:30 PM when she woke up. That was our Christmas Miracle this year. She woke up to see two of her sons, one of which had stayed all night with her (that would be John my husband) and the other one, Joe, who stayed most of the other nights at the hospital too. She knew them but couldn't talk because the ventilator was in her throat. But she shook her head and squeezed their hands answering questions and tried to get up and leave because she didn't want to be in the hospital. Too much to do after all it was Christmas!!!! Both John and Joe were hopeful and she saved Christmas (which by the way was one of her two favorite holidays -- the other being July 4th). Her oldest grandson, Sean, came by and she woke up and knew him. When her oldest son, Tom and his two girls came by, she woke up again and knew all of them. So it seemed that the doctors were wrong. Or we could only hope this to be the case. But as the days stretched on, she seemed to lose that recognition. But her brother and her three sisters were there every day being driven back and forth to the hospital by her brother-in-law too. All held true to her trying to rally her and bring their sister back to health. She recognized me when I got home from Florida too. As if she was waiting for me to come and visit, she opened her eye (yes she really only opened her right eye as her left side really didn't work any longer) but she reacted to me. Her numbers on the machines went up and she seemed as if she was trying to talk and tell me something. I believe she knew it was me and was trying to tell me it was ok as she knew I was to spend the holidays with my family due to many illnesses in Florida this year too. But she was deteriorating more with each day's passing. The Stroke Team evaluated her again and it was decided to move her out of ICU. They moved her up to the next floor in the hospital. She stayed there (no trac as they took that out on New Years Day) but she had the feeding tube and oxygen in her nose. She looked very uncomfortable but she wasn't ready to leave us just yet. So after about a week out of ICU the decision came to work with Hospice and move her out of the hospital. No nursing home for her. That was not in the cards. So the boys moved her to Joe's house in Laurel where Hospice came in. That was Friday January 16th. They got her moved and set up in her own blue bedroom in her middle son's house. She seemed very relaxed. All four of her grandchildren were there that night with her visiting even making her laugh. Her son and daughter-in-law did round the clock support in their home. They opened up their home to all of us so that we could be with her as much as possible. Her sister, Agnes, is a nurse so she helped. He other sister, Fran, also lives in Laurel so she was also there too. Blanche and Leland picked up Uncle John so that all were able to visit a little more conveniently than the hospital in Bethesda. So over the weekend we all visited, telling stories, crying, laughing, squeezing hands, and just plain enjoying family, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, sons and daughters in law, grandchildres, cousins, and more cousins. On Tuesday, January 20th we got the call that she had the death rattle. So all left what we were doing and sped to Laurel to the house to be there with everyone and more importantly Cecilia. The sons stayed and the sisters stayed. She wasn't ready just yet. She made it through the night with only one lung working and the other filling with fluid. But to say Cecilia is a stubborn woman is putting it mildly. When she puts her mind to it, she could accomplish anything. I guess that's where her boys and grandchildren get it from. So the next day we all gathered again. We brought food, drinks, ourselves and just keeping family together in the home. But around 6:15 PM Cecilia seemed to be ready to let go. Sean was holding her hand and Joe was working on her. She breathed in but didn't seem to breath out. With a sense of the end in sight, all of us in Joe & Shari's home were gathered in the room surrounding Cecilia in her bed. We all held hands and said prayers. We told Cec that it was ok to let go and we were here with her. Cec left us at 6:25 PM. Very peacefully, at her son's home, with her loved ones all surrounding her. She is dancing with Ernie in Heaven now. She is my new Guardian Angel and I sure hope that she realizes that no matter how our relationship started, it ended with us both respecting and loving each other. I guess that being a Mother-In-Law can never be easy especially when you would want the best there is for your own child. But after years of trying, I think we finally got it right. She was quite the woman. At her funeral, she had the Laurel Police as her Honor Guards, the Mayor showed up, the Rescue Squad and the Board of Trade Members too. Her funeral procession went straight down Main Street past the Shop that she and Ernie had in business for many, many years. She's very well known in Laurel and her reputation of being an honest, determined and strong-willed woman is very well respected in this area. I'm glad that after a shaky start as with many daughters-in-laws, we actually became extended family. Now we have quite the legacy to carry on and we are all going to help keep the memory of Cec alive through all of us. She taught us all the way to the end that it was family that meant everything. I just hope that we can live up to what she taught us and carry on her legacy with the same zest for life that she gave us. We love you Cec! Thank you!

KTTTT